It's easy: you don't!!!!

Either she is committed to you and your M or she isn't. Period.
And why would you want to torture yourself?

Me 32 (German) Wife 28
T 3yrs M 2yrs
Moved to US for W
No kids
BD 6/2014
In house separation
Confirmed EA 1/2015
(ongoing since BD)
OM not ready
Real D talk started 1/27/15