LoisB (Heather) & Wonka - I think you are more in agreement than you realize. You are both in agreement about making choices but it reads as if you are unsure about how much to attribute to factors out of our control.

Wonka you seem to totally embrace the philosophy that while we can't control what happens to us but one can ALWAYS control how we react.

Heather you seem to believe more like the old "Star Wars theory of life" AKA you must be aware of the dark side or you will never become a Jedi.

My observation is that right now Wonka wants you to embrace your inner Princess Leai(so?) because you are spending entirely too much time being Luke Skywalker before he met Yoda.

Heather be the Princess. Embrace the Princess and quit thinking like Luke before Yoda. In with the new and out with the old.

i think you are splitting hairs when the message is the same. Wonka you are just a Jedi master and Heather can't process the force as quickly as you.

M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters
BD: 5/14
Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW
D Final 9/17

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
― Maya Angelou