MLC = my last chance

[123Gwen]

Thanks for checking on me Job. Getting close to a financial separation agreement and that is a comfort though once it is signed I think H will consider himself divorced and may even file shortly thereafter. I know logically I could not have stopped this but yet I feel like a failure. I read DBusting after BD and by then he was living across the country. I was foolish to think we were a team. I am trying not feel like a victim but sometimes I just feel that pity party coming on strong.

Focusing on better news--- The new job is going really well. The girls are good considering all that happened. They know they can count on me and each other. I have controlled what I can and have not become a sad, angry woman.

I have learned that looking back won't give me any comfort. I can't alter the past so I have finally quit that analyzing and what if stage. That was a big accomplishment for me because I was overthinking every day of our lives and not getting many answers. I was far from perfect but there was never any sense of H wanting out of the marriage until the OW. It is all so textbook - the MLC. Oops maybe I am not past that overanalyzing stage?

Considering the situation I am doing ok. How are you?