Plain Vanilla #9

[Vanilla]

Z neither, Intel. POW is a mutual friend and I wanted to find out what is going on. I am unwilling to be in the position where I am guessing and harming a friendship. If there was an R then I know for sure.

Well H may think of this lady as a POW but she does not think of herself that way!

So she is still a friend of mine and she has a steady live in boyfriend. I believe her as she was concerned as to why I was not in touch. I also met bf.

H has been going around 3 to 4 times a week with the 'pity me', 'v is the wife from hell'

I kept my cards very close to my chest but did disclose the following:
1. H is a compulsive gambler
2. H is drinking heavily and I am concerned about H lifestyle
3. I had no idea H was visiting her

That is enough, POW wants to be friend of mine again. I guess I am going to have to find another name than POW. So it is cf for casual friend.

I discovered
1. H has been visiting a different friend which CF knows about
2. H is saying some very unpleasant things about V
3. H is saying he is sober etc....a good husband, caring, loving et al..
4. H is saying V is mean and lazy and truly awful please pity me
5. POW boyfriend not keen on H visiting (mildly put)

Just said 'CF : I am sad you had to hear all of this about V from H, there are two sides to every story and when I am clearer in my emotions then we can discuss, I did not know H was visiting you and it is for that reason I feel his visits are inappropriate.'

I will reframe this and digest. I will consider making CF back into a friend.

Now to cook a meal and go GAL. Ceroc here I come even if it storms.

Never let the grass grow........

V