W still having affair with OP #2

[4mendmj]

Well going to an actual wedding was harder than I thought but here is to hoping the reception brings relaxation and fun

[Complex]

Have fun man. Looks like your GAL is moving forward.
Let's keep it that way. I won't let the little milestone of family involvement ruin my plans.
Lent!!!!

[4mendmj]

Had a nice time last night and d6 has me up good and early this morning. Breakfast and then w ends up talking to me for twenty minutes about girl scout cookies sales and other just small talk. Practiced my improved eye contact as I have noticed lately I was struggling to look her in the eye a lot...so part of detaching for me is to recognize some of these "I hurt" reactions and understand that...the improved eye contact will improve confidence in myself too. Detach and GAL...

Painting a birdhouse with d this morning and lining up a play date for this afternoon

[4mendmj]

Question on pursuing...w is in living room and d6 & I are in kitchen...w is watching a video on her phone from fb or something and says "yes" a couple times...old me would come running as if that is an invitation but I think starsky would tell me "if she wanted to talk to you or tell you something, she will"...

Thoughts? Going in there feels like chasing

[Sotto]

I would leave her to it unless she invites you to come have a look at something or similar. In the meantime, have a lovely time playing with your d in the kitchen. Who knows your W might get interested enough to come join you both!

[4mendmj]

Thanks toots...

Marathon, not a sprint. I am admittedly ashamed of how little w even hangs out with d when w is home but lucky me,I get to enjoy d. So far,w has not started checking on us in the last month but it will take time for her to potentially re enter her life with us. Painted a birdhouse this morning and w never even came to look...her loss.

[Complex]

Just try to treat your W like she's the neighbor from next door or so. I know exactly how it feels when W is around. I live like this. It's hard and we get nervous and think way too much!!! Just do your thing...if she wants sth she will tell you. Try to "ignore" her, not ignoring when she talks to you but just try to blend her out.

[4mendmj]

Survived a great weekend with Lots of activities and fun with d6. Back to work today and ic session today as well. Need to keep thinking about more consequences. House is still hotel to w...

"Hid" lawyer card and paperwork and have up her chores a week ago. Considering splitting money soon once checking account goes to zero from her spending. That is where I run out of ideas without proposing trial separation. She would potentially lose a majority of time with d on the proposal but everyone here says no proposing separation as a tool...

[4mendmj]

Went swimming again, wearing the new clothes some of the days, need to keep switching it up. Have gone out four Wednesdays in a row so this week going to go out a different day as I am too predictable. Still can't figure out a consequence that is honestly to protect myself instead of trying to spite her...

[mvgfwd2]

Consequences that aren't spiteful, hmmm. Just think about what you would do differently if she left for good yesterday. That is what the consequences are. Basically, she has already left mentally and emotionally. Sounds like you are trying to avoid the ensuing conflict because she will spew when she is out of her comfort zone. She's too comfortable with the way things are and I doubt she will move much unless she becomes uncomfortable in some way (cake eating). Like when she has to pay her own way for the lifestyle she is having. That will be uncomfortable. You not being available all the time to take care of things at home or watch your D so she can go out will cramp W's lifestyle, etc. But if she is on her own she would have to do all that.