Continuing DBing

[Sotto]

Hi Peter, I would just give her one version...maybe this?

I need to tell you that I have made the decision to be with my husband. I no longer want to continue our relationship or keep any secrets from Peter. I have shared everything with him now.

I realize that I used poor judgment, getting involved in a relationship outside of my marriage and am sorry for that. I plan to get help to understand how I could betray my own values as well as my family.

I have recommitted to Peter now, and would ask you to respect this decision. I don't want you to contact me again for any reason. And I will no longer respond to any email, texts or other attempts to communicate with me. Peter and I will discuss any attempts to make contact with me.

I know this may feel abrupt but that is the only way to do this. We both knew the risks we were taking. I care a great deal for Peter and I would not want to do anything to risk his happiness. I am committed to my marriage and determined to make up for all the hurt I’ve caused my family.

I wish you well for the future.

Also in terms of controlling, say to her that you're perfectly happy if she prefers to draft what she would like to say - but the bottom line for you is that you need to approve it and want to see that it is sent - or send it yourself. You could say to her that you are purely giving her this to indicate the kind of message that you want OM to receive.

The only thing I would mention is that she may want to be a little 'kinder' to him. I'm not sure what other posters may feel about that. I have read elsewhere that kindly ending the A is more likely to bring closure and less in the way of repercussions from a disappointed AP.