So, at the same way you were aggravated with your husband for is casualness,, your joke about going to different Starbucks… Same thing.
You guys are in a really tough situation. Acting as if it has its benefits that you can pretend that you are happily married and start moving things in that direction. Sounds like you had a good morning of that. Wheather either if you admit it right now, he is looking at you thinking of how things might be, if there is hope.
It sounds like your husband has never permitted himself to have negative emotions, like you say, he has a hard time defining what they are. I am glad he had a moment of anger, it's going to come out one way or the other. Everybody here has stuff to be angry about. Everybody was letdown, Had dissallusions, was disappointed. In my opinion, you handled it as best as you guys could after all that. And let him know that it was safe to have feelings that weren't so pretty.
You are doing great, Susanna. Keep air in the house, but it might be time for you guys to have a real conversation about what happened too - not future, but to listen and ask about the past, Acknowledge what you can. The superficiality seems to be frustrating him too. Just a thought.
If you go back to page 1 of my thread, I think you will see that there were periods where my husband got 'hissy' and angry at this stage too. Lots of difficult conflicting feelings for everyone.
Hugs.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
