Well I don't get it. Why a man wants to cuddle up with the woman who is cheating on him. She chose another guy over her H, and now H wants to get cozy?
IMO, you have already let too much time slide between the confrontation and now. Do you plan to just go on with daily life as though nothing has happened? It won't win her back. It won't get your M back on track again. This is not a competition between you and OM. Your wayward wife is not the prize.
This is key, you must be the one in charge. You must not dance to her tune. Understand? Even if the A fizzles out in six months to a year, it sure doesn't guarantee the MR will resume as though it was never interrupted.
You started off fantastic. Then I read about you still sleeping in the same bed and doing nothing when she contradicts you to the kids. Then I thought, "Oh no, he's going to be another one of "those" husbands. Know what I'm talking about?
Find that man who had the b@lls to tell her she would have to leave. You can't tell her that and then play house!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
