We went to dinner as a family on Friday night... but of course, someone else joined us via text messaging... Call it karma or consequences: While texting OW my W spilled salsa on herself because she was sitting back a bit from the table while trying to text and eat at the same time. I'm not a vengeful person, but I did immediately think of that as a bit of karma or God allowing some consequences for bad behavior.
We had dessert at home because W had picked up cupcakes so we could celebrate my birthday (the kids love cupcakes of course!), but she also surprised me by having a large slice of cheesecake for me (instead of a cupcake)... Cheesecake is one of my 3 favorite desserts (W knows all three, of course), and this was a really huge surprise because it showed some thoughtfulness on her part... A confusing surprise, but a pleasant surprise...
Saturday was busy with sports stuff for our son... Saturday night we went out to eat dinner with W's mom and stepdad... Was actually pretty good, but again, someone else joined us via TM... W's mother noticed this and looked over at me while it was going on -- we smirked at each other and just shook our heads like we were both thinking "good grief! grow up..." But again -- there was one brief moment during dinner where W looked over at me (we were sitting across from each other) and caught my attention to point out that our youngest daughter was eating tomatoes -- and for a brief second it was like such a normal moment as if none of this nightmare was happening and all was right between us... But then she went back to texting OW... (eye roll)
Pretty quiet so far this morning -- but I'm thinking about my last couple of updates and BklynMom's comment about how at this age we do feel more secure in ourselves and a greater sense of maturity... And I don't care how wonderful 25-year old OW is -- she can't light a candle to who I am and what I can offer in terms of maturity, sense of self (especially now post-BD with all of the inner-work I've been doing and I continue to do), being a parent to our kids, being a full partner at home, understanding relationships beyond the infatuation phase, understanding what REAL love is and what real commitment is, being able to act in real unconditional/selfless love, and being able to forgive... And 25-year old OW sure as heck can't compete with the history that W and I share -- having a wonderful relationship for nearly ten years filled with deep love and substance, building a family together, intertwining of each other's families, working together on shared goals/hopes/dreams for the future, and openly loving each other (open to all friends, family members, and the world) in a relationship grounded in reality (vs. a secret escape fantasy). She just. can't. compete. with ALL of that! BOOM - Mic drop!
And if W can't ever wake up and realize all of this then that will be so sad for our children who deserve better than a broken home. I will survive because I will always know and believe the truth of what I've written above. This MLC and the A with OW affect me, but none of this is about me because if it was then this wouldn't have happened -- somewhere inside my MLC W is MY W who knows what she had/has in me and that it is good and right and that "us" was/is meant to be and was/is never a mistake.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
