I believe we are piecing...

[LovinUs]

Well, we had a rough time at counseling yesterday. Some things from the past came up that we have not agreed on. We still do not agree. This has been our toughest joint session since she moved out. It was hard to through. What we have been good at is leaving there and not allowing it to ruin our day/weekend/time together.

We went on to have a good day. We did some shopping, then spent the day working in my yard. We got a lot done and enjoyed our day. I cooked a nice dinner and we spent the evening snuggled up together watching 2 movies.

We have spent some time during the day working around my house before, but this was the first time we spent the evening at my house. She woke me up at 1 am, saying she was not feeling well physically, was having some anxiety with memories coming back and needed to go home to her house. She already had her things together and pretty much flew out of the house when I got up. She texted me to let me know she was home. She wrote she is not feeling good and needs some time to herself, that she loves me, but some things are still hard. I responded that I am sorry, too, love her and want to work things out. She said it is a hurdle that she has to deal with, and that we will talk tomorrow.

I feel hurt and stunned. I know it was awkward when I first started staying at her house and felt like leaving before, but I stuck it out. I guess I have to relax instead of getting so upset I feel like I can't breathe. My stomach is in knots and I did not sleep much - as I am sure is the case with her. We both get up early, and I have not heard from her, but I am not going to call her. I am laying around in bed, rather depressed and not sure what to do with myself. Damn, this is so hard. I am not doing very well.