Complex #5 - progress and throwbacks

[Complex]

I just talked to my parents. They blew everything up to W's closest family
They told them W and me are separated, W doesn't love me anymore, and that W eventually loves OM but that I still love her. They emailed back and forth. Everyone is deeply shocked and sad bc they like me a lot....

[Complex]

I figured it's fair to tell W about this fact.
Guess what. She got super upset. Not at me as she said but at my parents. It's none of their business bla bla BLA "this got out of hand", "now it got nasty". "What did they tell them? That I'm supposed to have an affair?".
She's so mad at my parents...they are such good people tho

I avoided any further discussion and told her to talk to her family bc I don't know any details.
Should I even bother siding with her on this or apologizing for my parents? It's not me who did this ....

now she's pressured in the corner again. Not good but at least she will have to face the truth and the consequences now.
I guess I gotta be very careful now that W is not projecting this on me, thinking I'm playing the family card against her.

[Complex]

Talking about "facing" things. W instantly texted her aunt to "keep everything for herself, bc we are adults and handle things ourselves". Lol
We know how she's "handling" things, wtf. Just another approach to keep it easy for her. "It's my life"....

I think I'll just stay out of this. If they approach me, I'll be respectful and nice, telling them to talk to W about any details, out of respect.

It'll run its course from here. I'll just watch

[Sotto]

Hi Complex - Oh dear! Yes, I would be tempted to sit on the sidelines and let that one play out...

[zew]

Complex,

W has just learned that she can't control her secrets. The rest of the world loves to gossip. There may be a little shame that goes with that (don't count on it), but there will be a lot of anger and she will of course blame you.

IGNORE IT. Actions have consequences.

Do not talk to her about it, don't try to fix it, either with her or with family. This is 100% her mess to deal with. Of course she will project this onto you, but you know better, and you will not react, because you are learning to detach, yes?

[susana4]

I would stay out of it. I think no matter what you do, she could somehow twist it and blame it on you, because she is ashamed right now. Best to stay out of it, and let her clean up her own mess.

[Complex]

That's my plan. Just sit back and let everything take its course.
I'm pretty annoyed how W is treating me like a complete stranger right now but there's nothing I can do.
For now the only way she's 'cleaning up her mess' is telling her family to stay out if it, that we are adults and are going to deal with it. That's pretty cowardly, but ok. If it's her decision to do that and serve family with the D papers one day, so be it.

I'm detached pretty well right now. But those meds still drive me crazy, lost all my appetite, feel like shitttt...maybe also bc I was out last night till 2.30am driving for Uber. It was fun tho but today is s miserable day^^

[Complex]

Thanks everyone btw. We are all on the same page.

[Complex]

This is good:

WHAT WILL MATTER

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.

What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters. ~ Michael Josephson

[4mendmj]

Hang in there complex...a bigger trigger for me so want you to get a heads up and start preparing your "I understand you feel that way"... she is going to find a single family member and continually remind yoy that they now know because of you...she will figure out which one hurts you the worst and then hound it....Dell breaths man...smile and nod, smile and nod