I'm not sure what you're looking for with the giving question.
Pam, I was asking this because I had a couple of ideas around this issue. It was mostly rhetorical. But my neighbor is a "giver" and there's a huge relationship between this behavior and her recent D. It's an interesting case because her friends (and my W) think she's a saint because she's such a "giver" but I've now learned that she's "other-validated" and SHE was a major contributor to the failure of the marriage...not just her psycho husband. I've gotten pretty good at doing PMish analysis. The "giving" question might be the most relevant one of all now that you've admitted that all the lowe-level things are in place.
Good luck. I'll cook on some thoughts about your sitch for a while and get back.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
