If she stops all contact then I can let her have her time to find herself again.
This has been your condition since the beginning. She talks for hours about how bad she had it and does a lot of crying. You relent and agree to leave the M as it is. She takes the A deeper under cover and you play along with her game.........believing you are giving her time to find herself. The "finding herself" is a cop out, Peter.
I think you choose to believe it, b/c you look for excuses. Now it's the wedding and you don't want to be mean. If that's how you want to live, then I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
