I would agree that you need to state your boundary that OM is not allowed in your house at any time, even when you are away.

That was one of the first things I told my W when I discovered the A. I said if he sets foot on any of our properties I will call the police and have him charged with trespassing.

He has never set foot on any of our properties.

As for W phone D before bedtime, I think you could say you've thought about it and feel that it would help D deal with the trauma of the turmoil she is being put through. But then maybe that's just my passive aggressive side coming out.

M: 59 W: 53
M: 9 yrs
T: 14 yrs
No kids together but D30(hers), S27, S24, D21(all 3 mine)
W moved out 11/18/2013
D-Day 12/14/2013
W moved back home 12/1/2014