Susana (4) - Do you have to be confusin'?

[Mozza]

susana4 - I follow your sitch intermittently and there's much I want to say, but for now I'll just talk about my experience about sex.

I was with my "college girlfriend" (from 20 to 25 yo) for 5 years and we lived together. I'm the one who broke up with her. That's when I discovered "sex with ex". It was fantastic. The desire and the sensations were back to the top and more. I don't know what her hopes were, but there were no doubts in my mind about the break up. My desire came, I think, from the fact that I was about to let go of that W. That my access to her was about to be rescinded. That she was going to be with another man eventually. To me, that explains why your WAH focused so much on you. He wanted to affirm his ownership of you, to leave his mark. He was competing with other men, consciously or not.

In my current sitch, WAS and I ML twice during the week of "separation talks". The last time, it lasted for hours. Yet, it was still our last time and she went off with an OM.

Why is he doing it now? Because the desire built up. Because those tickle fights pumped up his testosterone. I'm surprised he held for that long. It might also be that he feels closer to losing you. I don't see it as a sign that his thought is evolving.

I'm sorry it doesn't sound more positive. I'm an optimist on these boards, but I also believe that sitches tend to last a very long time and go through difficult times. What you're doing now will have an impact in months, when he's looking back at what he left behind. I doubt that it will have an impact on his immediate decision. You keep on doing it though, because it can only help, but keep the big picture in mind.