moving on

[Ahoy]

Survived a week of interviewing realtors, dealing with appraisal, scheduling STD test. Every week I accomplish something that will get me closer to independence.

D14 came to my house after being dropped off by H and the first thing out of her mouth was "He's so annoying!" Days later she got in an argument with him on the phone -- because he just talks and talks and never listens. This is something that's gotten worse with him over time. She complained that she didn't want him to sell the house, and I encouraged her to speak up.

She said, "He doesn't listen to me. I told him I wasn't ready for him to be dating, and he's doing it anyway." I told her that he's going to make his own choices, but it doesn't mean that she shouldn't speak up for herself and her opinions, and that to have a good relationship with her father, she will need to be able to communicate with him.

Of course, it's really hard communicating with someone who is a one-way street, and who only puts his own needs first. I'm sorry she is the one who has to deal with that. At least I will be free of him after the D. I'll have to communicate co-parenting things, but otherwise can limit contact.

It's interesting how I see him in such a different light now. I think he was probably always this person, but I wanted to see him in a positive light, and was his biggest defender. Now I look back on some of his issues with his work colleagues in a different way (and I hear stories from them as well). They see him as being, at times, officious and entitled and a poor communicator. I never thought he would turn his nastiness and officiousness toward me, but that is what I'm seeing in the dissolution process.

Here is what I have learned: if you see someone acting in a certain unattractive way toward others, understand that this behavior could easily be turned on you.