As I was leaving I had a major anxiety attack, shaking, thumping heart, wanted to throw up, panic rising I had no idea it was coming no ideas where it came from.
I got over there and at one point had that pre nausea feeling, all clammy watering mouth thick tounge swimming vision. Oh dear retreated inside. Sat away and felt better.
The bra worked, better than the trial run. I think might get used to the damn thing.
Ok so the party gossip, the testicle dude turned up quite late. We talked quite a bit, he's a farm type too. He seems far happier now than before. He talked of his new sheep pup he's training and that was ok as really non sheep people don't understand. It was relaxed and good.
What I learnt is while often I'm better at accepting praise and compliments, today I was crap. I need to learn to say thanks, not go mute! (Bloody mute cow, makes me look rude)
Td said the cheap dress was my colour, I should have thanked him.
Had fun, had a few drinkies. No one abused me on the ride home for being a social outcast. I think the other guests liked me, unlike before when I was told People hated me.
So in all it was ok, no ground breaking news of any kind, but most of life is just ordinary moments joined together. Let's just say the whole day was pleasent.
They did some marriage vows and readings. One was from my first wedding which i needed to hear again. I was almost teary, as some of the guests were.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
