The awakening of me Part 3

[mleigh4]

Back home from Socal! We finished off our trip with a day and night at Disneyland. Just not enough time! Now Disneyland is where I walk around in awe. The trip for S and I was great, but I really got homesick. That never happens. I could not wait for tonight, to be home with my S, my stinky creatures, my little lights and candles on throughout my house, my new couch. I just couldn't wait.

Throughout the trip I TM H pictures out of courtesy and because he asked. I would hope for the same if H was away with S. He finally asked to speak with S last night, so they did.

While away, H took the couple of things he said he would. Don't see anything else gone, the only surprise was dogs crate. He needed it to make her shady shelter as his place has no shade for her. When we went to pick her up on our way home, I saw his makeshift shelter for her and just shook my head. Tarp covered over her crate, next to his bent up mini blinds and yellow stained curtains, the place is just a dump when you look at it.

So H asked to come by tonight and see S. He came straight from work, still in his work clothes. It was right when dinner was ready so I invited him to make a plate. How could I not. H was here about 1/2 hour then started his hugs and goodbyes with S. Before he left, he called me into the kitchen.

He asked if I heard about his sister. He has 2, one I am close with and one has a drug addiction, we don't see her much. Well, apparently she has been evicted, with her 18 year old daughter, and is living in a motel jobless and close to being homeless. So H said his other sister mentioned living with me. I said, what!!?? No way. H said he told his sister and mom that he didn't think I would be open to that. I said wait, hold on a minute, why is my name coming up? Why not you? You have room in your place, or what about your dad, mom or sister who all have huge houses! I said I don't even understand why my name is coming up!? H just kind of mumbled something like ya, I don't know. Are they crazy?


So then I said it's sad that she is going through that, especially her daughter. H says ya, she made her choices but her daughter is the innocent one paying the price.....

So you know where I am going with this, right? I looked at H and said ya, pretty self centered choices, you know? Then I said, ya, you know. He just looked at me and said, huh? I said you know all about self centered choices. Um....ya...I said it. Not nice, I know, I couldn't stand him being all higher and holier than thou. I am a mamma bear when it comes to S.

So he said thanks for dinner, kissed S and left.

I know I am not supposed to judge or put down, but I don't regret saying it. I will be friendly and cordial but no, I am not always ok and accepting of H choices.

As for his sister, I also know drug addiction is an illness and can't always be controlled. My father was addicted to heroine and alcohol and died when I was 19 with only meeting me once.

I have a really bad attitude with parents making selfish choices, but I am trying to learn and understand for my father and my husband.