Quote: We watched a movie lastnight, and something struck me afterwards. I cry in almost every romantic story where the man ends up winning the woman's heart. don't we all? aren't we supposed to? isn't that why they call it romance? I've always been a bit sappy that way! I realized lastnight that part of why I cry is because I've never really had that. most of us never really had that..that's why they are called movies and not realities. Michelle has a section called "the media myth" in divorce remedy that discusses some of this. Sure, I thought I had it, but it's hard to imagine that a man who wins your heart would betray you while you're sleeping soundly in the security of his presence. It's also hard to imagine that such a man could vow not to repeat such a betrayal and then do it all over again one week later. the severity of each persons violation depends upon the person viloated. I never thought my h would have an a or leave me..but he did...I'm working at getting over it..but I understand your feelings of his continuing to do it...so the last violation was the last straw? I know many do not agree with my perspective on that, including my own father, but it's still a scar nonetheless and it hasn't healed yet. does the sentimetn "hasn't healed yet." indicate a small ray of hope that you might be able to forgive? provided of course the violation does not ever occur again.
I'm honestly not setting out to make H a monster, even if it appears that way. I married him in spite of this, hoping that time and effort might heal and renew my love for him. I then hoped that having his children would help, not to mention how badly I wanted to be a mom. We'll be married for 6 years this August... if I haven't healed by now, doesn't it just make sense that I won't? doctors often assume that a person who's been in a coma past a certain point will not come out of it...but they do. What I mean is, I don't think it's realistic anymore to hope and try to undo our past. I understand that..so it's easier to undo the future right? Geez, I need to see my therapist... I must sound crazy. I've been around this site long enough and dealt with enough people to know that you don't sound crazy at all. In fact you sound pretty damn normal for someone who's been hurting for a long time and just can't take it anymore. Thing is I don't think you realize the pill (divorce) you are considering taking isn't going to end your pain and infact may only serve to cause you more.
I realized lastnight that part of why I cry is because I've never really had that. most of us never really had that..that's why they are called movies and not realities. Michelle has a section called "the media myth" in divorce remedy that discusses some of this. Sure, I thought I had it, but it's hard to imagine that a man who wins your heart would betray you while you're sleeping soundly in the security of his presence. It's also hard to imagine that such a man could vow not to repeat such a betrayal and then do it all over again one week later. the severity of each persons violation depends upon the person viloated. I never thought my h would have an a or leave me..but he did...I'm working at getting over it..but I understand your feelings of his continuing to do it...so the last violation was the last straw? I know many do not agree with my perspective on that, including my own father, but it's still a scar nonetheless and it hasn't healed yet. does the sentimetn "hasn't healed yet." indicate a small ray of hope that you might be able to forgive? provided of course the violation does not ever occur again. 
I've been around this site long enough and dealt with enough people to know that you don't sound crazy at all. In fact you sound pretty damn normal for someone who's been hurting for a long time and just can't take it anymore. Thing is I don't think you realize the pill (divorce) you are considering taking isn't going to end your pain and infact may only serve to cause you more. 
