Card29 X - Let It Be

[Card29]

I have come a long way, you're right, especially from a detachment, DB and NMMNG standpoint.

Struggling with some self-confidence issues lately, though. In my mind, I know I had/have things to work on, but the primary reason she left is within herself. Still, I'm going back through a phase of dealing with the fact that she found me unworthy. But yes, I know, "uR" worthy, or "iMworthy"!. I know that. But I don't feel that at the moment. I also believe that this feeling will pass. In the meantime, what should my focus be? What can I do to break this cycle? I've kind of felt like this for 2-3 weeks, off and on. Is this just the high of sis's friend wearing off?

The rest of this I'm just getting off of my chest. I know it's because she's lost, for the same reason she's doing drugs now:

Lately it has stung that she casually started dating some OM2 for 2-3 weeks AFTER her tearful, remorseful phone call to me. "I'm an adulterer" "I'm so sorry I did this" "I hate myself and my life" ... fast forward 1 week.... "OM2 sounds like a good plan". wth, you know?

Also, she gave me a conflicting timeline. On the phone call in December, she said OM2 broke up with her 2 weeks prior, which would have put their breakup right on or before the day of our house closing. If you go back and read my threads, she was so unbelievably horrible that day. She treated me and our realtor like crap, she was hollow and cold at the closing. It was maybe the worst mood I've ever seen her in, and I've seen her in some really bad moods. It made sense. But the other day at her apt, she said he broke up with her in November....? I'm assuming she's lying about it being in Nov. She probably has the break-up date burned into her memory just like my BD date, so there's no way she accidentally got the dates mixed up. But why lie about it?

Okay, it's off my chest now, I guess. I've wrote these questions out in texts to her and then deleted them, as they obviously weren't going to lead anywhere good.