If you're getting mostly silence and apathy, then the "first things" I would look for would be emotion -- even if it's spew or anger. The ol' "the opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy" thing.
First she has to give a chit. Remember, when we GAL we are merely LAYING A FOUNDATION. We do the things we needed to do for ourselves ANYWAY, to make ourselves a more attractive partner. The reason we preach PATIENCE so much around here is partly because the physiological reality is that spouses -- when they are wayward -- are almost entirely blocked emotionally to our changes, due to the PEAs washing over their brains.
But . . . when things crash in affair-land, or when some other external event or just internal soul-searching causes them to take a peek? There you want to be, in all of your NEW-AND-IMPROVED glory. When that opportunity comes, you can't THEN go back and do all of the hard work of 180s, GAL, self-improvements, etc. The foundation has to already be there.
