Devotion to a dream...

[phunguy]

Sure. Last night I was in the kitchen and she had left her highly guarded phone there, it buzzed, text msg. I saw her boss' name. I opened up her phone read the text. From her to him: the weekend is almost here can't wait to touch you, missing you very much. Reply: yes, I can't wait for all of you. Some crap about work, see you didn't need me. Reply: Yes baby and we missed u ILUA(I love you alot).

It's so f'n cheesy...

Utterly devastated to have some real evidence that I had been searching for, I quickly sent screen capture text to myself and then emailed it to my email accounts. Then I took the phone up stairs to the bedroom where she was preparing her things for her weekend away at her girlfriends(lie!) I put it in her face and called her some names. She was shocked. Flew off the handled yelling and screaming. S8 still up comes down stairs, this yelling and screaming, it's all your fault, this is why I get in trouble, this is why! Total OMG moment!

I get him calmed apologize and get him back to his room. Wife tries to barge into sons room while I'm talking to him, I barricade the door with my body while she screams at me to open it, yelling this and that to me about letting her in. Screaming that I told him. I didn't tell him anything other than we were having an arguement and that everything would be all right. I tell her to go away after a while she does. We go down stairs I tell her to calm down let's talk.

We talk for the next 30mins or so she gives me some information about the duration, etc. I tell her I will expose the affair to her employer and they will both be fired and I will sue him and her employer. She begs me not to go public. I tell her that the only I will not is if she immediately agrees to give me full custody. She agrees. We talk some more. I tell her I want her our as soon as possible. To take the weekend, come up with a plan. I give her a carrot. I tell her, that my heart is still open to her. That I love and have loved her deeply. That I am capable of forgiving her for her mistake. I know that he is fulfilling emotional needs that I had not recently but in the past I had. She says she doesn't think I can forgive her and tells me she should have asked for divorce earlier. I tell her she's made a lot of mistakes over the last year and that I am uncertain how long I will feel that this might be savable. She says I deserve someone who will love me. I tell her she is very confused and has no idea what she wants, she agrees. I tell her that as soon as the shine wears off of her A, she will be alone. That her boss is already on his second marriage and it is over. That he is using her. She says she's unsure what if anything she will actually do with him in terms of the future. I ask her if she loves him, she says she doesn't know.

I tell her I asked her Monday to be honest. That she lied and she has hurt me more than any mean words I may have said to her. She said maybe she wanted me to find out. I tell her I have now found out and that if she wants to try to save this R she will have to dissolve A immediately. She says she doesn't know what she wants. I tell her to go for the weekend and come back Sunday to tell me her decision. She follows all of this with her same lines, I've lost myself, I need to find myself, maybe I just need to be alone, etc.

I'm going through some tough emotions since last night. I've not slept but 2 hrs. or so. My brain is fried. I'm angry, then sad, then angry, then remorseful, then thinking it can be saved, then thinking it's over, it's all too much for me to take.