I understand, Aquarian. Sounds like you have alot going on inside you right now. Perhaps you were hoping sex was going to be the magic pill that would make it all better? I'm asking. I'm not assuming. The issues you bring up are big and complex. Who wouldn't want/hope for a simple solution? But, while TSSM is a very good hammer, everything is not necessarily a nail.
I think you need to talk with someone in person and in depth about everything that is going on inside you, about more than sex or even your relationship with your H. What you're writing about seems like more than those two things.
Give some serious thought to making that person your H. Let him be your confidant. He may surprise you at how interested he is. Can you trust him enough to really let him in? Maybe it's risky, but give him a chance to show you he can provide the emotional support you need right now. Maybe you need this even more than romance?
Quote: ...and finally be myself.
I was originally going to ask you to say more about this, but what if you talk to your H about it instead? Seems like a pretty important issue to deal with.
I'm asking. I'm not assuming. The issues you bring up are big and complex. Who wouldn't want/hope for a simple solution? But, while TSSM is a very good hammer, everything is not necessarily a nail.
