I'm still torn if I should confront the W about the EA. I am thinking of asking again but not pointing out that I have been snooping. I am thinking of asking her if she is in love with someone else. And she questions me on it I will just point out what I have observed in her behavior. I will not point out how she has been protective of her phone, BUT I will ask her if I can see it. If she refuses, I'll then point it out and say that I have my answer.
never, EVER ask. You either confront with a statement, if and when you have ROCK-SOLID evidence (and never EVER revealing the source of your intel!). You do this with a "I know all about you and ______, and it needs to stop. It's incredibly disrespectful to me, to our marriage, and (if applicable) to our family" . . .
. . . or you say nothing, and continue to monitor the situation.
ASKING is NEEDY and ACCUSING, and besides, you also have the problem of all cheaters lie . . . PERIOD. So if you ask her if she's in contact with OM, and she's not, she'll say "No, I'm not." And if you ask her if she's in contact with OM, and she is, she'll say "No, I'm not."
Good luck with that.
If she asks you how you know, you say "That's not important, I just do, so please stop lying to me about it -- it's incredibly disrespectful."
If she asks you WHAT you know, you say "I know everything." This way, if she doesn't know what you do know and what you DON'T know, she'll have to assume you know everything. There is much power in that.
