Update and question...so W just messaged me again a number of minutes later (because we all know she is scrambling to make new or change plans with OW because of my bold move) "any clue when you will be home?"
She is either hoping I am gone for the evening so OW can come over to our home while I am gone or she is waiting for me to come home so she can turn around and leave.
My gut would be to tell her an appropriate time I would be home because my parents raised me right but my new DB brain says the answer to her question is simply "No" and leave it at that. I am out having fun and don't know when the fun will end right? Right
Me:39 W:33 Married 6/07 D6 Found out about affair 9/14
I greatly appreciate it. That is exactly what I sent... and no response for now as I am positive they are blown away at both this action and the way I am handling it. I am doing not asking.... I am so stinking proud of myself right now. Seriously.
Me:39 W:33 Married 6/07 D6 Found out about affair 9/14
Anything next level here I am not thinking of Starsky? Stopping by when I know they will both be in the home "because I forgot to grab something" or having a friend post on FB that I was a dancing foo (which I am normally not because I am self consious) or anything like that to go next level? Or am I already doing good enough for the day
Me:39 W:33 Married 6/07 D6 Found out about affair 9/14
Anything next level here I am not thinking of Starsky? Stopping by when I know they will both be in the home "because I forgot to grab something"
No. Too apparent and needy!
Quote:
or having a friend post on FB that I was a dancing foo (which I am normally not because I am self consious) or anything like that to go next level?
Let your new-and-improved, fun, busy, interesting life be naturally captured organically, 4mend. Don't force it or gameplay it. Trust me, she'll find out -- she's a woman!
Anything next level here I am not thinking of Starsky? Stopping by when I know they will both be in the home "because I forgot to grab something"
No. Too apparent and needy!
Quote:
or having a friend post on FB that I was a dancing foo (which I am normally not because I am self consious) or anything like that to go next level?
Let your new-and-improved, fun, busy, interesting life be naturally captured organically, 4mend. Don't force it or gameplay it. Trust me, she'll find out -- she's a woman!
Starsky
As you get more and more dancing legs and confidence under you, she will see it in your spirit. I wouldn't have a problem of you doing a whole bunch of facebook posting of you bar hopping, having fun, going on trips, hobbies, volunteer work, etc showing you engaged, having fun and living life.
Don't do it to prove to her, but you do it to get your focus on putting you into these environments. Plus if anyone has been hearing the sad sap stories of you being cheated, they will see you are doing quite nicely.
Question about pursuing... the pattern goes that W will go out tonight and be out past midnight. W will sleep in tomorrow morning which will work perfect for D6 and I's GAL. D6 will wake up at 7am (cause what kid doesn't wake up on the mornings they don't have to ) and we will roll out the door around 9am while W is still sleeping. I will send W a FB messenger message (so I can see she got it ) stating " D6 and I headed to childrens museum, ice skating and movies" I want to say "D6 and I are headed to children's museum first, then ice skating at 1145-1245 and then XXXX movie starting at 2:40pm"
Here is the questions... 1) the old me makes it too organized with lists and planned times etc so a 180 for me is to leave off times and if W wants to meet up with us, she will ask. Agreed? 2) For that matter I could even say way less than either of my original ideas in the first place. I could simply say "D6 and I headed out for a day of fun" or something of that nature. If it was just me...my business...but because I am with D6, I don't know where the disclosure line is.... If W was going to go somewhere with D6 when I was not at work, W would at least tell me when they were leaving and when I might expect them back etc. so I am struggling with mystery meets responsible parent
Me:39 W:33 Married 6/07 D6 Found out about affair 9/14