She is till doing the dispatching but taking more and more calls. Her reasoning is because she wants to save enough money to buy a new truck. She says she does not make enough just dispatching. I have understood her reasoning. But I have also shown her that with what she does make and what I make she doesn't have to do the calls. She would still be able to buy the truck. I want more money also. But I will not talk to other women on the phone for money because I love my wife and only want to do those things with her.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
It is uncomfortable to know these guys are calling in to talk to her because she is good at taking calls. It's not like a job at the hospital or the office. And I have talked to her about how it might not bother me as much if she wasn't acting like she is toward me. She has lied to me several times during this job. The most hurtful was when I found emails from guys that were on a online dating site. She left her work email up when I went to use the computer and there were 2 notices of new emails. I could not open them. But I found something from the site saved on her computer when she asked me to fix it one day. When I asked her about it she told me she has no idea how it got there. Things don't get saved to your desktop for no reason. When I confronted her about the mails, she said she was trying to get guys to call in to the site. She was using her work name. I told her now she has lied and got on a dating site. It was very unpleasant.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
It is not something that I just put out there alot. Like I said, I was banned from another forum for my very first post asking for advice on what to do about this situation. I have no idea what trolling is. Crossing the boundaries has been hard. I have tried telling her how I feel about it. I did have a conversation that night before Valentines Day in which I said I do not want to be in a marriage where my wife talks about sex with other men on the phone. She took it as me saying I do not want to be married to her. I told her that is not what I said. I gave her a choice. Keep doing what she is doing and we will always have this problem or find another job and start working on repairing the other issues in our marriage to make it better than ever. We have 2 elementary school children. I am taking their feelings into consideration in all this. Now I am just praying harder for her than ever before and working on becoming a better husband. I am working on myself whether things work out or not.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I am also so confused on what to do in my situation for a 180. In the past I have not showed her enough support and enough love. She says she felt like someone to cook, clean and have sex with. I feel bad for making her feel like that. I never meant to. But with this job and the tension it is causing between us, do I completely detach? Or do I do like I have been doing, giving more hugs, telling her how wonderful she is, leaving nice notes, doing things for her and trying to make her feel special and loved. It seems to be helping her some. This is a 180 for me. I did not do this enough before. I am also listening better without always trying to fix something or give my point of view. It seems if I avoid her or don't do these things, she doesn't like it at all. I am also letting her see for herself the problems her job is causing. Not just with us, but the kids don't like it because they don't see her as much. And she is having problems with some of her co workers. And now having problems showing proof of income to buy a truck. Plus her pay keeps getting messed up. But I am letting her see for herself. I am staying out of it. I am taking care of me and the kids. Spending more time with them and working on me!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
