I think that's right. I thought I was more detached than I was, but I've found out that my feeling of detachment was too dependent on W's phase. During her EA my anger was channeled more productively and it helped me to detach. Where I lost some of that detachment was after the EA was over and she started going through her anger phase with me. That pushed my buttons for sure and I reacted more angrily than I should have. Not always, but still too much. She's moving past that anger, at least for now, and I'm finding it easier to stay even keel.

That's not the way it should work. It's important that I stay straight and level regardless of what she throws at me. just because right now she's not angry with me doesn't mean for a second that she won't again.

Big picture I'm sure it's far better to have her under the same roof while we're going through this, but part of me wonders if it wouldn't have been easier for me to detach consistently if we had been physically separated. That's pure speculation. I'm not about to suggest it.

Ex Rzrback
Me 43 Her 44
D11, D15
T21, M19
BD 9/9/2014
Piecing

Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood