Was the past 18 years just a waste?

[June315]

Confusion and roller coaster continue. OK, I snooped again. I don't know if my H is having A or not. I don't know if I really want to know for sure. I see he is looking at hotels, restaurants on the computer. All of which we had been to and places I expressed that I wanted to go. My 1st thought (and most logical) is that he is taking someone and is in a R with someone. But what bothers me is why theses places that we went. Can't he go somewhere else? We are talking about Manhattan where there are other places to look at. Or is he playing with me? Meaning just to get me riled up.

I did not tell him what I found but asked if he is with someone else. He denied, of course.