Toots, sorry this has thrown you for a loop, I completely get why. It must be so weird for him to pop up with this out of the blue after so long with out contact!
Hope your lunch tomorrow goes ok. I think it's fine to leave it a little longer and Think about what you want to say.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
Had a really good sleep last night. Woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to see SS and his Mum today for lunch. Had a couple of text exchanges with H. I wanted to check if SS & XW knew about the redundancy - they do.
I've decided that for me, it is right for NC to come to an end now, and I'm going to check in on H a bit more often on a friendly basis. Just to see how he's doing and with no expectations. I want to be 'there' for him during what may be a tough period. But I'll monitor how things go, and remain very aware that I really don't know the status of things.
It struck me last night that H may go through a phase a bit like I went through after BD. He has left work already and said in his email 'suddenly I have nothing to do.' He has lost his job (like I left my job) and now faces losing our home (which I 'lost' after BD). I wonder what he'll 'do' with this period of time. He has been so busy for so many years, it will be pretty weird for him.
Anyway, it's good to feel on a more even keel. It's good to know that whilst things might unsteady you, it's only for a couple of days, and I'm back on my 'perch' again - at least for now. :-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Toot toot Toots, sounds like you're off with a spring in your step this morning. Have a great lunch and keep the PMA a'flying.
Check in with you later
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
Hey, the other thing I've noticed is that Mrs Fixit - a hibernatory creature - is well and truly awake now. She has been rattling the closet door these past few days..
Oh, H could do this. He should really make the most of this break - he works so hard. Maybe he should take up yoga? Visit his family in North America?
It's been quite illuminating and I really want to suggest absolutely nothing to H. But it does make me see what I've been doing a lot of in our M. It was probably pretty annoying - like I really know the answers to everything, know what's best?
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
In my field of IT (wont go into too many specifics but mostly MI analysis and systems) its normal you go almost immediately. To prevent you getting a grievance on and doing something with the data that gets the company in trouble. You normally get your credential access revoked almost immediately as well. Just to protect you from suspicion and the company from trouble down the line.
Although I dont know H's field - you dont need to tell us if youd rather not for his privacy obviously
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
Hi both, I'm sure it was redundancy. Like your field Edz - everyone just goes straight away and gets paid off. H's company have made two big rounds of redundancies in the past year and that has happened to everyone. They get called in, told, leave the building and get paid off. He works in the oil industry and the low oil price at the moment is causing the squeeze.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Mrs Fixit - a hibernatory creature - is well and truly awake now. She has been rattling the closet door these past few days..
<snip>
it does make me see what I've been doing a lot of in our M. It was probably pretty annoying - like I really know the answers to everything, know what's best?
Join the club! Its difficult if you routinely have to work out solutions, improvise corrections, develop or are creative its wired through your mind to look for connections and solutions. Object A and object B how to make them work together, how to get from b to c without going through e, quelling that is difficult and tongue biting can be necessary, that and the mental big box of sticly brix!
My Mr fixit was, according to Gg, having a thing with her Ms I can.. he's certainly not bothering me right now so I'll need to check in if she's seen him lol
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
