I have no idea why they (LD) spouses seem to be tired alot. I have come to the conclusion that sex will almost never be during the week for me. H is just always too tired for anything after working during the week. Very seldom have I ever been too tired for sex also.
I don't know what to say CeMar, you seem to be totally depressed about your sitch. I've been reading here for several months and have seen some very good advice put out. Do you and the W communicate at all on this subject?
Quote: I have no idea why they (LD) spouses seem to be tired alot. I have come to the conclusion that sex will almost never be during the week for me. H is just always too tired for anything after working during the week. Very seldom have I ever been too tired for sex also.
BINGO!!! She's tired all the time - she complains about it constantly! Seems to be her main complaint. Wow - could it be an avoidance mechanism, I wonder???
Sure seems spooky that there are so MANY common things with LD spouses. Doesn't fill me with hope, exactly.
It could be. Being tired all the time could be any number of things. Including, depression. Now thats not a very good thing, huh? Depression meds? UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
On the subject of initiating I think that you have to be a lot more patient. If it has been 8 years then a full scale HD/HD relationship is not going to happen suddenly. In my sitch W has never initiated (apart from one time but that was interupted by hairdog out poaching and watching us through his binoculars) but I guess I can live with that because I can see love in her eyes during "Quality Time" and I know that her agreeing to once a week is an act of love and a sort of initiation even though it will probably always be me who makes the first move. If she doesn't resist then I see that as love. Who knows, after a few months when she is comfortable with it she may start things off sometimes - I can dream at least. SD
Quote: (apart from one time but that was interupted by hairdog out poaching and watching us through his binoculars)
Hey, I resemble that comment!
I wanted to comment on the sleep thing. WTF is up with that, anyway? Man, I could have suffered from insomnia for a week, finally gotten to sleep, and if my W woke me up and said, "Do me", I'd gladly oblige. Meanwhile, she's too tired, or too stressed, or too hot, or too cold, or too itchy, or too ticklish, or too.....
Thats the difference between us HDs and the LDs......... we would gladly give up sleep for a roll in the hay. Its not that important to them, but seems sleep is
Quote: I wanted to comment on the sleep thing. WTF is up with that, anyway? Man, I could have suffered from insomnia for a week, finally gotten to sleep, and if my W woke me up and said, "Do me", I'd gladly oblige. Meanwhile, she's too tired, or too stressed, or too hot, or too cold, or too itchy, or too ticklish, or too.....
You are forgetting that the faze of the moon isn't correct they were stressed for 5 seconds during the day. The house isn't perfect. They don't have the car that they want. Their hair is a mess. and any number of things.
Guys, guys, guys, there's too much anger and resentment in your hearts to let the love shine out. Lose that anger and you may get more success. SD - Not angry anymore - ALRIGHT!
Hey, I resent that. I am HD but if you come snuggling up on me after a hard day you may get punched. I drive a bus over some of the worst roads in the USA and after I have bounced 9 to 12 hours on my butt I am tired and sore. Yeah, I need some d--- sleep and I will be a lot happier about screwing around if I can get some sleep first. I need about 2 hours, just enough to let the muscles relax.
CeMar is just depressed and he is hurting. I know how it is to live with someone who is depressed and those anti-pills are worst than the disease. But depression left unchecked can kill you and I've made enough funerals to know that as a truth as well as a fact. Depression may not be contagious but living in that environment daily can affect and color how you yourself react to events. In other words, crazy sitch can make you crazy too. CeMar, go do something silly.
I think you are on to something about the missed signals and the misunderstood ones. I look deep in my H eyes trying to communicate sexy vibes and he thinks I'm mad about something. I thought by playing role games during sex that I was telling him I like having fun and can be adventurous he said I was being childish and he wanted a grown woman not some silly child playing games. His telling me to roll over and open my legs, after a day when he hadn't said a kind word to me, was too much like being scolded and punished. He thought, I would know that it was his way of apologizing. So I think we need to identify signals and help each other figure out what our mates are saying. Do you think same sex couples have this much trouble talking to each other?
