Thanks so much rd500,
I am strong sometimes, most times..........but at other times I just cry for all of us, I know this is killing my H - I cannot understand how this intelligent man does not see, yet, that how he is living his life is not making him 'happy', is hurting those people who want the best for him, but most of all, how it is making everything worse for him..............

I am leaving the door open, but is that my mistake? Is that what is prolonging this?

I am trying to be the best I can be and I hope you are doing the same..........it is the only way forward.........