Post retreat situation

[MrBond]

You seem to be confusing alot of things.

"He has been pushing my buttons, staying out all night, getting drunk."

How is him going out all night and getting drunk pushing YOUR buttons? He's not doing it to hurt you. He's doing it to deal with something. Your getting irritated is just your frustration of not being able to control him.

"My kindness seems to be having no affect."

You don't know that. You EXPECT that if you're kind to him, he should react a certain way. You don't know for sure how he's going to react. Again, that's more of your control.