May your,

[Ggrass]

In a way, they do it because it works in the short term. We allow our bounderies to be pushed back in the name of harmony and happiness.


We all know it doesn't work in the longer term.
Selfish people will be sounding you out to see what you will let slide and what you won't.
Perhaps in maybell thread, it was pointed out her h was looking and sound her out for wriggle room. When there was none, he offered and paid the child's school trip.

When she was up front and said nope, this is how it is ie set the line in the sand it happened.

A real narc is looking at and testing your boundaries. And pushing them back every step of the way. They too like gamblers are compulsive liars. They need to stage manage their whole life, onky showing that good mask.

My h was told before at bd, I think there is a moral need for contact with s17.
H didn't carry thru, the. Later with ic advice, I told him nope, s17 doesnt care to have contact doesn't want to see you and we think nc, please respect that.

H hasn't, he has been getting cousin to give s17 work. H approached xh and stated I will be having contact. Xh thought well perhaps that was our agreement and did not say no.

Emtional abusers, dont think they abuse. They don't understand the cycle and often blame the abused by projection for Abusing them and treating them bad.

H used to often bellow you don't treat me with respect but it was more about treating him as center of everything. Every thing needed to be discussed, with the exception of what h was doing. Very controlling and parental, dictatorship almost.

While thing were flowing h way and he thought he had control, things were pretty good. when h flew into fear mode, then it got ugly.