I definitely agree that when my wife initiates, it makes me feel desired. Unfortuately that's almost the only times in the past 10 years we have done anything because long ago i stopped trying to avoid the pain of rejection. Many times i would hear "i woke up kind of horny last night but you were sleeping". Geez. I have had standing orders to wake me up in that situation and reinforce that each time...still...i think that only happened once in the past 5 years that i was woken up. More recently when i brought up the topic of her initiating, i was told that she doesn't like it. It makes her feel 'manly'. Geez. This from a very fit woman with an hourglass figure. Who also feels fat when her waist is up 1/2 inch from ideal. ugh..sorry for that rant..sometimes we need to let it out.
If i try and initiate with something obvious "lets have sex" its too crude. If i get grabby, its either rude or taken as just playing around. If i get lovey and touchy...its a nice touch. A few weekends ago we were on a trip and on the way there i mentioned that i was horny. In bed the next morning i was very affectionate and loving with touches and carressing...nothing...later when asked about it she responded "well you've told me that i have the right to say no". Sure...but thats been exceptionally excessive.
