Life 2.0 Pt 5

[NH115]

Well, no, she responded to my ILY with her own right away. I was just a little taken aback by the 'Well, that's nice of you'. Just seemed a little more distant than even I've been used to out of her since BD. I think the 'more' comment applied to someone else.

You're right - it was an attempt to engage her a little bit, just a quick "See, I do think of you, and I want to connect, even in small ways"

She could have just been busy at the time. There's any number of perfectly legitimate reasons for her being less than chatty at that particular time.

And yes, I know I'm not anywhere near Starsky's level of cool yet. I'm not nearly as detached as I thought I was, and the last couple of weeks have proven that. I will feel good and strong until I'm with her and she's in one of her emotional crashes. I do react to her far more than I should. I think it's because I can't seem to get off that defensiveness hamster wheel. I DO feel responsible for a lot of our situation (outside her EA), so it's easy for her, whether she consciously knows it or not, to keep me on a string.

I'd love to hear your insight on actions I could take, besides keeping my cool.