Dear all, thanks so much for all of the advice. To be honest, I've had a bit of a delayed reaction today and have felt a bit sick, shaky and tearful - so it's been helpful to get your views.
V, thanks so much for the practical stuff, that's really helpful. I'm not going to broach that in the response to H right now, but very useful to understand more about the process and options. Jim, thanks for the suggested script, which I plan to go with for now....I have slightly adjusted it - but essentially not taken anything away or added anything:f
Dear H - I hope you're doing okay.
Don't worry, your email wasn't presumptuous. I understand things are uncertain at the moment and that you're just trying to figure out what's next for you. And if you feel you wanted to say something differently, then please do - I know how hard I find it sometimes to express how I feel.
I think you're right that together we should work out the best plan for us both in terms of the house. I'm pretty busy until the middle of next week, but maybe we can find some time to work things out after that?
Thanks for your kind words - I too was happy while we were together. If there's anything this past year has taught me, it's how to appreciate and value the happiness in my life.
Take care, Toots
Starsky, I'm glad of your endorsement - thank you. Are we comfortable with the above now? So, as I understand it my 'strategy' right now is to:
a) Buy a little time on the house front, pending legal advice, whilst acknowledging we need to attend to it b) Draw H out a little further (if possible)on the R front in a warm and validating way without revealing 'my hand' or asking direct questions or pressuring.
Would that be about right? I think I'll feel better when I've responded to him and it's 'done.' I feel like I've been sitting comfortably on my DB perch for so long, this has knocked me off it...I feel frightened about having to try and make big decisions right now, and I'm having a bit of a 'flight' response.
Thanks again to you all :-)
Last edited by Toots; 02/19/1506:04 PM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
