Gogofo - Learning to go dark

[gogofo]

So here is where I sit. The D papers are in their last iteration. I am not as upset about the papers as I thought I would be. I will be D soon. My STBXW says she is open to dating me again.

Last night after going through the agreement we had a snack and talked about her trip out of town and shared a nice evening together. The tension I felt, or more accurately created, between us seems to be gone. We ended with her feet on my lap.

I had my walk through on my house I am going to by yesterday and it was good. I like the house, not the neighborhood, but the house should be great. I know I can make it a wonderful home.

Sandi had asked above what we can do to help me, I know what it is.

I need to do the work to become a better person and grow and detach and not be so dependent on my W’s feelings etc. I know the interactions I am having with my W right now are helping me feel upbeat, but I want to feel upbeat and get the passion back into my life.

I want to get Gogofo back. If I get him back, then I know I can have a happy, fulfilling life. Maybe the STBXW will be a part of it, maybe not. That remains to be seen. I need to work on me and light the fire under my ass. As far as possible R with her, that will have to be low and slow, like a good BBQ.

I watched the movie “Chef” the other night and it excited me and got me inspired. I need to embrace my passions again. The W has been telling me this for a while.

My passion needs not to be the R between her and I. That was my passion the last year and it killed me and us.

Once out of the house I it will be easier to detach more and work at GAL activities.

Now to building the better me, any and all advice, 2x4s and inspiration is welcome.