Seperated, she is with someone - I'm desperate (2)

[vdubber]

Thank you Wet. I do appreciate the good things in my life. I have been in such a fog over my situation with W that I was letting it consume me. I was depressed, angry, you name it. I still am all of those things but noticeably less than even a couple weeks ago.

I do want a life with her but not as she is now, I deserve better and it would not work. I had pinned so much on me and what I needed to do to make us work but there is also alot she would have to do and commit to if we ever wanted a new life together. I don't mean to say I don't need to change...I absolutely do bit that change is independent of her. Yes part of my change will help me better communicate with her and change the way I act and react in situations but it is a change that will be made whether she changes her mind and wants us to work or if she continues on with her life with this or future OMs.

I do think of her, I am no doubt in love with her, I do still have a belief we can grow old together. The difference is I am no longer willing to let her be a need for me, her in my life as my W will no longer define who I am.

Easy words to say but it's the stance I am taking and want to hold myself accountable to.