W still having PA with OP

[4mendmj]

Learned this morning from D6 that W went and picked up OW before W even went and picked up D after work yesterday on my me day. I know from previous intel that W thinks that W and OW are going to happily raise their newly created family and it makes me sick and it makes me sad for W as she has no clue the likelihood of me getting sole custody if we divorce. Yet, here I am worrying about her. I do worry about D6 though as she almost seems sick of OW as it is all W does or brings D6 around to. As if D6 is kind of wishing something else would happen in her life when D is with W.

I have been removing the identical amount of money from our checking account that W spends monthly and W makes a little more than I so right now I am not losing anything by sharing finances but if/when the checking account gets to nill then I will probably change banks and cancel the joint cards so her money becomes hers.

I keep reading about the WAW goading the LBS and not to fall into the trap. I don't know if the heart left in the snow in the driveway or talking on the phone with OW when I came home was ways of trying to get my goat but for the first time in this ordeal, I have now kept my cool for a few weeks now...no blow ups, no R talk and yet no D talk.

I need however to keep doing more DO things that are for me. Starsky said something that has really stuck with me...no consequences = no change. I left the lawyer card and some "how to co-parent" paperwork the state requires around in the bathroom but I don't know whether she has tripped on it or not. I quit doing the dishes and now I noticed in the last 2 days she is starting to put her own dishes away in the dishwasher. Since she has unloaded/reloaded the dishwasher the last 2 times (and me the previous 100 before that) I don't know whether to just keep leaving all those dishes pile up in the sink or not now that she is putting her stuff away in the dishwasher?

I almost feel petty even spending my brain power psychoanilyzing the dishwasher the reality is though I need to understand not to be taken advantage of so perhaps that is something to think more about. When do I feel taken advantage of, and what is an action I can take that changes that feeling to one of self-control and self-worth and confidence for me.