Rys, my advice at this point would be to see a lawyer and go totally "RobX" on her. You repeatedly telling her "I still don't want a divorce," and "I still see a sliver of hope for us," and defending your position is only weakening you further in her eyes (notice her interesting comment about "being a man" buried in the middle of her rant up there ^^^) -- it's killing attraction, and ATTRACTION is the first step back towards reconciliation.
ATTRACTION ----> RESPECT ----> LOVE ----> RECONCILATION
Maybe it's time for a "You know, I've decided that this totally isn't working for me, either" speech and stance.
