I've been dying to respond, but my kids kept me really busy this morning! I've been trying to post for hours now!!
Thank you so much for that post MPT! I will be reading that a few times and letting it really soak in!
You know, I've been trying to put my finger on something. Every time I read a post from CeMar saying how hopeless an LD/ND spouse is, etc... I can't help but think that the DESIRE/DRIVE discrepancies many of us are facing are not just about sex. I believe MPT has just nailed that. CeMar, you're on the right track with the "improving your marriage" vs. sexlife approach. The problem is, "improving your marriage" is such a generic goal, isn't it?! I think the marriage will be improved if both spouses are willing to take a good look at the whole picture, and the emphasis shouldn't be LD or HD!! That just sets us up to have our ledger books open! Thanks MPT!
Bear with me, just thinking out loud... Both the HD and the LD spouse wants/needs more of whatever it is that attracted them in the first place (I think is what it boils down to). When we met our spouses and were in that "infatuation" phase... what made them stand out? What made us anticipate our dates together? What did we visualize our futures would be like with them? Why did we exchange marriage vows? What was it about them that made them the best candidate to parent our children? What was it that made them our best friend AND lover? Somehow one or more of these qualities has been diminished or nulled over time... or perhaps, just forgotten?
I'm going to answer all of these questions (from both perspectives... that of me and my H looking at me) and hopefully I'll get a little closer to finding out what my actual goals are, rather than simply ML more often.
