HI Toots, no sage advice to offer, just a small bit of support / my view.
For me, your H seems very confused. Alot is happening in his life and most of it not good. I personally would not push anything or say / email anything. If he is having second thoughts he will make it clear to you. I'm sorry for refering to my sitch all the time but I have had W say (in the last two weeks) that our M was good, I was a good husband, a great father, her life is now crap, she hates her new place and hates the drive to it, she is very unhappy and sees no future for herself, she thinks she is making a big mistake, she thinks she's having a breakdown and she doesn't understand what she is doing. Even though she is saying all these things, she shows no signs of coming home.
For me, your H is coming forward and you could go forward but I would be very wary, if your H wants to make a go of a M with you, he has to commit fully and not just run to you because things are tough.
