May your,

[edz]

I think its an easy trap to fall into - jumping to a new relationship but that closely resembles the last one. Factor in doing that after rejection or relationships failing and no work being done on "your"self and I think thats how people dont get to move on to happier relationships.

For me thats the positive on DBing, will w come back? Well, only she knows that at the moment. May be I move on before she decides what she wants to do, maybe we both do and come back together. Right now Im not going to drive myself insane running the possabilities. DBing has got me to look at the issues *I* had and can change and have or are doing so. That way whoever comes into my life, be that w or someone new (and I know I do want someone there to share with but I wont *need* them to be there in the same way now) I have a much better chance of not repeating the same sitch.

Indeed I've read time and again of spouses rage making them hurl back something said against someone they "loved" I couldnt do that, it would just break something intrinsic in me and I cant get into the mindset of those who do.

It will all come in time Gg (and no that wasnt me lowering the tone )

I think the idea is to spot troublespots without fearing them to see potential issues and problems without attempting to fix them and to aknowledge compromise and work toward it without surrendering your own values and needs totally. Well thats what I'll try to do moving on anyway