Tootling along.

[Sotto]

Thanks to you all. I'm just trying to regroup today and think about the rest of my response. There seems to be a view that H is saying "it's over...but then backtracking a bit and asking do I think it's over? Is that what I want?

There also seems to be a mixed view on whether I should even respond to the R stuff. I do feel I don't want to 'toy' with him right now, given his redundancy and general state of his life. Is this time for me to restate my original position on R?

"What has happened to us isn't what I wanted, but I do realise that whatever happens I'll be okay. I deserve to be with someone who is 100% committed to me, truthful and faithful. I still hope that ends up being you.

If you want our relationship and our marriage to end, I fully respect and accept that. I realise I need to let you go and I won't stand in your way, but it isn't what I want."

I won't post anything until I have views on this. My L appt is next Wed, so in respect of the house I can tell him I want to a) think about that some more? b) get some advice? and will get back to him middle of next week. I don't feel I want to leave it that long in terms of the R stuff though if I'm going to respond on that.

I'm just a bit unsure about my approach here...part of me wonders if I should tell him I don't understand what he's asking. Is he asking me whether I think things are over, or is he telling me he wants them to be over? Or saying to him....you said you wished you'd put that differently. How do you wish you'd put it?

I'll take it nice and slow and make sure I'm comfortable with what I'm trying to do here before I respond.

There's also the unknown quantity of the A - obviously crucial and he's in no doubt about my stance on that as I was rock solid firm on my boundary of no open marriage from the outset. But if he's saying he was stupid, got caught up in something, and lost sight of what was important - my hunch is it may well be over....but who knows with a WAW? He may just be pretty low and telling me what he thinks I want to hear...

Any advice would be welcome!