Complex #5 - progress and throwbacks

[Complex]

I feel better somehow, but the clearer my mind gets the more am I thinking that how all this went down, I should just get the hell out of here...
I love her for who she is, but all she does is WAW protocol so far. And if a person can not reflect on what she's doing and then act upon it, valuing commitment, not actively deciding to cheat and lie and at least honor and try with an open heart with patience and honesty, seeking for support, open minded and with respect and also forgivness for what I did wrong and see the will to change and value the effort....then this is not a person that I can be happy with. As hard as it is.
I saw a different person, I know there IS a different person inside her. Everyone saw it. Her family knows there is and she knows it too. But she made a decision and she has to live with it.
From here on all I can do is be myself, be a better myself, be loving and respectful. Pray for her and myself and let history take its course.
But the realization of the truth is hurtful. The truth that I eventually made a wrong major decision in my life. Maybe I can save our friendship one day, but that is unsure. Because I don't want to do anything anymore...SHE HAS TO!!!