Doing the limbo thing (thread #8)

[shodan]

The past week has been very eventful. My W and I had some breakthroughs. First, she found my DR book and read it from cover to cover. She really liked it and said the advice is very straightforward and not too "preachy". The book convinced her that she wants to work on our M and does not want to pursue a D. She knows a D will destroy our family.

Second, she seemed to open her heart to "feeling" for me again. We ML multiple times in the past several days. She is saying and doing loving things for me. She has taken to heart a lot of what we discussed and knows that she needs to take action before the feelings will come back.

What worked (according to my W) to get back and focused on us? I backed off. I gave her space. I took the pressure off. I GALed. I became the man that she fell in love with...strong, confident and funny.

DBing is not intuitive. The natural reaction is to be clingy and act needy and jealous. But these actions and traits repulsed my W. Only when I GALed and became the strong and confident Shodan that she married did her feelings start to come back.