uR- Remembering that he isn't hearing anything now is a good reminder for me. I need to remember there is nothing I can say or do to get through to him. Nothing. And the last thing I want to do is engage in the middle school banter which he is used to participating in. Count. Me. Out.

Train- that's a great quote! Love those beautiful willow's!

Hey Karma! Thank you for support!

OK, so my conundrum...

(Yeah, yeah.. what else is new?!)

Xh told d14 to text her after sledding so he could drop something off to her(and apparently he did text her at 6:30 this morning- whew).

She texted him and then looked out the window and saw he wasn't there. I saw the look on her face immediately change. She texted him immediately and said something like never mind, dont bother- I see you aren't home.

Then, something happened that never happens. She cried. Well... her kind of cry. She got teary-eyed. This is the second time recently. I kid yo not... this child never friggin cries. I felt so bad. It crushed me. I kissed her head and told her I loved her. Then I said that it was my fault bc I told him that he could arrange plans with her another time. (Plus her friend was going to spend the night but then ended up having to leave right before d14 texted xh).

So, he said he was on his way to see her and to go out to the truck. She did, and they sat in the driveway for awhile.

It still makes my stomach all sorts of crazy... panic type stuff. But I was going back and forth in my mind.

I was thinking first- I'm going to tell him why I don't talk to him.... uh.. duh... no I'm not.

Then, OK, he doesn't hear me anyway... what's the point.

Alright- I'm not even going to let any of it bother me.

But, the whole time I kept thinking about d14. How crushed she was. How she never says anything, but I knew exactly what she wanted. Her dad to come in for a little bit.

Now, I started going back and forth with this thought.. you know..

Then, I concluded, OK, I could handle it. I don't have to talk to him, really. I don't want to do this. I don't want to see him. But, it's my baby's birthday. OMG, this sux! OK, be the mom. What's important here?

OK, so I went out and pulled d14 aside. I asked her if she wanted to invite her dad to come in for dinner or cake. She lit up like a Christmas tree. I told her it was fine, but I wasn't sure if he would.

He declined. That's fine. I feel good knowing that I did what I thought was best for d14. But, I have to say that this is some tough stuff to navigate through.

I just don't like the disrespect and lack of concern the two of them showed towards my family. And I will always feel protective over my kids about that. Like I'm the only adult who cares what they have done and are doing to them.

But I don't want to seem bitter or angry when it comes to dealing with my kids. OK, one day at a time. But I do need to have a plan in place for when things come up. (Like last night when xh came over and said, "Hi Mighty" to me in front of everyone. Blah. I think I grimaced. That was my response greeting.