Moving On - LisaB

[Mozza]

I think this new phase is also spurred by something a friend told me. We had not seen each other in some time and he was asking for an update on the situation. I explained some of the latest developments and interactions. His reaction was basically "he sounds like an absolute loser, why are you still speaking to him?"

Everyone I talk to is on my side and it puzzles me. I wonder if it's a bias because of how I tell my story or because they want to be comforting and nice to me. Or is it because I'm really the good guy and she's done something unthinkable? In any case, "Nice Guys" tend to be very appreciated in social settings but less so in their private life because that's where they let off the steam and I tell myself that those people didn't quite know what was going on inside the M. I've opened up a little more to some friends about the details and the reactions were mixed: some thought it was no big deal, some thought the relationship was really strained. I could tell it was all relative to their own M.

On the other side, WAW is cutting off people, even as she's complaining about her lack of social network. Just this week, a parent at school that we had befriended last year told me how she willfully ignored him when they met at school. WAW might think herself she has the bad role, of leaving her family and moving in with a new guy so fast. Perhaps what she's really done (leaving me for a new guy) is becoming clearer to her than her official reason (leaving me because we're incompatible).

I can tell that some of my friends hold back what they really think because they see that I still long for her. Others can be quite blunt and literally say "She's crazy". They can't swallow her immaturity, the lack of efforts, the lies, the fact that she moved all out without some kind of break/trial period, that she moved in with this guy, that she keeps trying to keep in touch with me, etc. In fact, I'm probably the most understanding of all. I've started a reflection on my thread about unhealthy Nice Guys and I'm not sure I should be proud to stand for a woman who was unfaithful twice and left me for a guy she met a month earlier. It looks like your reaction is healthier, LisaB.

Wow, I had a lot to take off my chest...