May your,

[jim0987]

Hi gg,

I've just put the kids to bed and am taking 5 before commencing cleaning operations. I stop on on your thread and all kinds of stuff has happened, its revelations galore.

So quick précis of my reaction.
- way to go GG
- 37 isn't young, its firstly older than me and secondly is closer in age to you than your H. Besides it only matters to you two.
- 29 would do me nicely really though I think the bigger thing is where they are on their view of relationships. I think even up to mid 30s people still have a vision of love and marriage. I think that once people get passed that (and some do it much younger) they realise that divorce and kids and other stuff are just parts of peoples life story.
- I think edz is probably a good bar for gentlemanly conduct
- only share what your comfortable sharing, but a good IC is well worth it for the stuff that isn't comfortable. For the rest and nautical metaphor we are happy to oblige
- there's lots of reasons he may not have said much,but being mysterious and keeping the focus on you is right up there on the dating tips.
- it's a buffet, you can view, check and even taste if you like. Take it at whatever pace you like but remember a little fear (of the good kind) and apprehension is where the excitement happens.


Probably more but now I'm just putting the tidying off.

[edz]

Gentlemanly conduct.....mmmm...not sure thats good or not, not may be more fun

Need more wine.....

[Ggrass]

Gosh you 2 are awesome.

Hopefully I didn't scare the Bugga. It's not like any nasty secrets were revealed.
I ran out of ic sessions. But I didn't really tell her all either. She was a bit left of center.

When I tryed to put anxiety and the eating issues I had Into context, she didn't like my language and choice of words, she got really annoyed I felt déjà u at her reaction like h, and was more guarded with her.

I didn't feel like I wanted to get Into the really hurtfull stuff, she seemed judgmental. The glimpses she saw she did, try to prepare me as she thought h was a narc. She also tryed to tell me I cared for h and only wanted the m, because I only wanted what I could not have.

Narc patterns suggest he would replace you, or have a replacement ready in place, and never return nor look back. I was totally manipulated by not knowing the truth also a narc hallmark. Narcs just don't care about anything but them, or their newest shiney toy.

Look the age gap, will be fine. Especially if he's on the inside what he appears in the outside. He seems fairly mature and sensible.

As I said tho, my choices before weren't so crash, so in time the action will out.
Doesn't smoke or drink, well so far he's yet to buy either in a month that I've seen.
There's a couple of ticks right there.

The old friend who was looking for attention at last weeks dinner, he doesn't smoke or drink, but did have a large gambling problem. It came from a nasty heart break. That's a tiny red flag, although he never lost his life over it.

They all just need a tick on the animal front, there is a large collection and townies freak at 5 dogs. Lots to keep thinking on.

Tall sexy and gentlemanly, swoons and needs a sit down. Edzs your cute! serrious fellas your wives are nuts. That om jim he's a paper cut out.

[edz]

thanks gg and thanks for being so open, nothing wrong with 5 dogs, my dad has 3 and lives in a semi detached house. Only thing stopping me is working in the day and renting, love dogs sure bft would adapt...possibly grumpily

[Ggrass]

When the part time cat comes hone all the dogs know their scared! Well and truely.

Oh and your forgeting I work most days plus commute. It's like kids they play together and sleep all day mostly. Same as they do when I'm here.

[Vanilla]

Gg

Care on the gambling issue, compulsives lie cheat and steal. Gamblers are compulsive and when in action will do anything to gamble. Gambling is a life long addiction. Be sure on this as our gg needs extra special gentleness and fun.

I am with Edz and Jim, age gap is ok, go get em. My bestie is 67 and married to a stripling just turned 50. She is very happy indeed and has a busy naughty nookie time of it.

Enjoy.

On the IC side, no IC should ever be judgemental, trust your instincts find a better one. As for the honesty thing V believes in complete openness with IC. Is there any way you can get the $$$ back?

Gg you are on a farm, horses dogs, cats, lambie, s17 all the animals! lol

Would have thought that was self evident and goes with the territory.

Saw Shaun the Sheep film tonight to celebrate poor old wonky Lambie. Worth a watch, you would get a big grin or two out of it.

I am going to do some research on narcs and will report back and discuss.

V

[edz]

One day if I ever resolve the finances I'll have a place where I can have dog(s) again, miss them as I had one from about 8 right through to 28 then a combination of living in flats with rigid agreements or working away or babies or renting (why is it that rental places are so anti-pet? The security deposits are normally high enough to redecorate 3 times over!) has meant it's been a doggie free life sadly, have the bft but she's very much against the idea of a harness and walk, such things do exist but bft would probably just sit there in ragdoll mode and look as me as much as to say, you want me to do what? in public? on a lead?!?!?!

Anyway Gg, as V says (good info on gambling V, have little to no experience there) would think its pretty much a given to be happy with animals if you're dating a lady farm owner

[Ggrass]

I loved Wallace and Gromit sheep!

Shaun sheep would be ok too. Last years lamb was called lamb chop! Only us oldies would get that.

Well there a turn up, the tescile bloke came in, and I got a really raunchy comment I. He left that door wide open. Best bit one of the gossips was standing right there.

Betcha he's still not pick his jaw up either of em.

Oh looks like cute dude has a job, and will not be taking off to return in 3 months. He came in to say that he was much later tonight and was sorry. I feel, the age gaps ok in this case.

Edzs mr fixit has gotten slack with ms i know how to do that and get outta my way. they must have run out of "toys" cough. I was trying to fix the cute dudes stuff so he could stay.

Mmm trying to fix an out come.... I need to let that rubbish go.

I will keep the gambling compulsive idea in my head. I'm not sure his level of compulsion.
I drink but don't have a problem. I have gambled but don't have a problem.

I have bet on horses. Played poker machines and bought raffle tickets. All forms of gambling.

The gambler is closer in age and is known nice dude. Honnest and was never a cheater, he was cheated on.

It's all just looking at the buffet and comparing.

[edz]

Wow Lamb Chop - Shari Lewis if I remember right. Havent thought about that in years Charlie Horse (really!) and Hush Puppy as well.

A whole lot of dbers just said what are they talking about!

Clearly Mr Fixit and Ms I Know are keeping each other occupied (!) as to toys, no, not going there, will get myself in trouble

[Ggrass]

Given the fact I sprayed petrol on the gossip fire, it can only get lower, the tone.

It's nice just to sound out the guys.

Seems like the cute dudes interested but mmmm it's odd. It's all about just being out there and trying to let go of the fear.

There are so many fears, it's hard to know where to address next. Perhaps just breathe.