WAW Affair admittd 3

[25yearsmlc]

On,

Well I hope you can see that while it's actually sort of weird, it IS a lot better being nice to you, than her NOT being so nice. Agreed?

Besides, right or wrong, most people here LOVE it when their spouses are kind to them b/c they call it "baby steps" and then they try to build on those bonding moments.

I'm not sure that's a bad idea at all.

Ok had the wrath of wife tonight. Somat has upset her. Maybe my earlier email asking for account details?.. Who knows.
Anyway. She came in from work ok but then not long later there was a conversation about my mum. Ahh yes my wife's number one enemy. So it went along the lines of"your mum emailed me while away saying will I LET d8 email" my mum back.

Now my wife took objection to the word let and decided to take it out on me. I said I'm not arguing or getting drawn into it and left it at that. She continued to prod the bear saying " do you think that's acceptable" I said not well worded but what are you asking me to do. She continued to prod looking for a rise. She was threatening saying she'll let my mum know in no uncertain terms. To which I said that's fine if that's what you want to do I can't control what you do. Then there was a snide remark about "is this what your councillor has told you to say" ahh so now we're getting somewhere. Upset I haven't said one word about my counselling session.

No need to mind read at all, let alone so much. Just ASK your w what she means if you really care. My spin on that comment was that she was so unused to you having a calm response to her spew and that you did NOT take on the issue but left it in her hands, that she assumed it was advice coming from your counselor.

But hey, I could be wrong. Best to ask her directly, don't you think? I really REALLY like when you said "What do you want ME to do?" And then letting her know that it's NOT your battle but hers.

IF and when your mom is actually "rude" to her, then yes I think you ought to intervene (at least as long as you are married) but in this example, it's hard to see how else your mother could have worded it. She's asking your d for permission to email her granddaughter (i.e. your d).

She MIGHT have been implying something but she might not have. And unless/until it's clear, why not give her the benefit of the doubt? Same thing for your wife. But the more directly you communicate, the better and the more adult and healthy the r's will be.


I told her no but she is in control of whatever she wants to do. I then served up spag Bol and asked if she wanted cheese. By this point she was spitting flames. My mum arrived back with d8 and not one out of tone word was said by wife. All bluster. She doesn't really have much fire power at the minute to say anything to anyone.

Separate point my best mate today asked if wife was having an affair with OM. I said yes. He said was an easy spot with all fb pics(I'm not on fb) his wife also had an affair before they D. So if he picked up on this, my dad picked up on this my mum picked up on this then surely everyone else has. Not much of a secret really.

And you didn't need to say a word...

Keep on keeping on OnT, it does get better. Truly, it does.